Hey @2018, Thanks For Basically Nothing

Happy friggin New Year welcome to 2019. 2018 was such literal trash so I’ve been ready for that hellhole of a year to be over for a while. Last year was a rough one for me for many reasons. It was my first full year being out of college and working full time. I got in my feels about being single for a few months too at some point, and then there’s all that little shit in between that added to my mess of a year. Of course, there were amazing moments I had and beautiful people that I spent time with, but I think something in me was just off for a majority of 2018.

Thankfully we can now say that 2018 is in the past. What was difficult for us last year taught us lessons that we will take into 2019 to help us to be a better person, a better friend, and a happier human.

I decided I want to focus my year on the people I have in my life and the new one’s I’ll meet, and how I can make the most of those friendships and the moments we create together. The last few months of 2018 were really eye-opening for me. I’ve said before in previous posts that I have so many amazing, unique, and exciting groups of friends but I don’t think I truly understood how influential and crucial it is to have all these people around me, and supporting me.

There were times last year that I neglected friendships that used to be everything to me. And while I’ve bounced back from that and poured my heart out and apologized to some of those friends (just picture 5 girls definitely not sober at a rooftop bar in NYC crying about how much we love each other) it still saddens me when I think about it. If anything, 2018 taught me how important it is to not only get to know new people, but continue to get to know the people you already have in your life. We never stop learning and growing, so why should the relationships you have with others?

A friend of mine recently said to me “you’re too nice.” I responded back saying that I agree with that statement in that sometimes I don’t always stand up for myself or confront someone when they did or said something that wasn’t okay or hurtful. However, I think as 2018 went on, all the difficulties and obstacles it put me through made me want to be a better person. So, I started to be as kind as I could to others, be there for friends when they needed it, be a mediator instead of an instigator, and try to have as much fun as I could while the rest of the year concluded.

I think I did a pretty good job. The last 3 months of 2018 were my favorite. I started to have this overwhelming feeling of appreciation and love towards all those in my life and that feeling has not changed.

For the past few years in one of my friend groups, one of us takes the tons of videos we all collectively took over the past year and compiles them into one wrap-up video. I got to see it this past weekend and it made me remember that even though 2018 was very difficult for me, I still had so many special moments that I got to share with incredible people. That is definitely something I can thank 2018 for.

While we are only one week into the new year, I have already met awesome new people, had stomach pains from laughing so hard, and have so much to look forward to. This year is already better than the last. Every person you spend time with in this next year, whether it be new friends, old friends, family, or strangers, will change you in some way, and it’s your responsibility to make the most of those encounters and connections.

God puts people in our lives to remind us of the important things that only human connection can bring; faith in love, understanding and being understood, and unique and pure forms of happiness that technology will never be able to give us.

Everyone comes in and out of your life for a reason. While we may not always know what that reason is, we should be constantly reminding ourselves of how truly blessed we are. Just like how my friends and I have our year-end recap video, we all have beautiful memories and constant support from friends we can look back on and ask for help from in times of need. When you’re having a bad day and can’t seem to get out of your funk, think about all the success and love around you. Sometimes it takes a little humility and compassion towards yourself to wake up and remember who you are and just how incredible your life is. Those last 3 months of 2018 were filled with the most happiness for me because I started to do this, and I think it really made a difference in the person I was for the remainder of the year.

While constant and continuous 24/7 happiness may be impossible, and feelings like sadness, loneliness, and hurt are important to feel and grow from, pushing yourself to get through the difficult times 2019 may bring by focusing on all the good in your life is the key. I have found that regardless of what I’m going through, there’s always so much more to look forward to, experience, and feel. My friends and the people around me have been my most important support system throughout 2018 and the hardships it brought, and I plan on cultivating those relationships and holding them close as the new year begins.

Walking into 2019, I think this will be my best year yet. I feel like I have become so independent and confident in who I am that I’m not afraid of what journey this year will take me on. Like I said in my first blog post, humility and kindness are two traits that someone can never have and emit enough of. While it’s okay to every once in a while, tell yourself that you look like a fire bitch and you’re a friggin QUEEN especially when you're like me and are too hard on yourself and your appearance (but I mean did you see my dress on NYE like come onnnnnn I loved it thx @fashionnova. PSA: This is not an ad they’re just so on point) staying grounded and centered and spreading love and kindness to others can only make for some pretty good karma.

I’m going to be 24 this year. While that’s such an irrelevant age like who tf cares, I’m so excited for what my 24th year of life has in store for me. As long as there’s feta wherever it brings me, I’m there in a heartbeat.